Move to Japan or just weeaboo in the USA?

[pfarber]

So its been a bit of a fantasy to of mine to live in Japan. Really. A few years (holly shit... like two DECADES!) ago I even thought about the tried and true method of how to even GET to Japan.. being an English Teacher. But in my late 20's I started my own business and that took me on a 9 year ride that eventually lead me to where I am today... married, middle aged, own a home, have a wife, and 2 dogs with a good job and steady paycheck and so my Japanese dreams were tucked away.

But I get bored.. really easily.. like make stupid decision's bored. Sometimes its a learning experience that just costs me some money (stupid new cars) or time (like impulsively join the Navy and volunteer for the Submarine corps) or both (dogs, cars, girlfriends).

But I'm at my current job 9+ years and I can feel the boredom eating at me... so about a year ago, out of nowhere I heard a small voice in my mind ask me 'didn't you want to move to Japan?'. I haven't... and honestly I don't ever think I will. Visit, yes. Live? No. Why? Well here's a list of things that keep my feet firmly planted in the USA:

I can learn to speak Japanese, but it would most likely never master it. I know of people in Japan for 20 years that would be considered fluent in Japanese but still have their Japanese spouses handle most of the business because of the nuances of the language.
Japanese work life fucking sucks. In descending levels of hell: Salaryman, everyone else, farmer.
Japan is an extremely closed society and not being Japanese is a HUGE problem. I would NEVER be considered an equal. Racism is alive and well in Japan.
Poor pay for skills that the West considers valuable. Skilled professions like IT and programmers are shit on mainly because of the revolving door of temporary immigrant workers from India/Pakistan make them disposable.. and they are not Japanese (see #2 above).
Getting paid at Japanese rates would mean a 40%-60% reduction in my wages while living in a Japanese city would be 20%-40% more expensive. A bunch of grapes (like 500g) is 4000¥ ($40 USD). I don't really like seafood, either. Food in general is expensive compared to the US. Seasonal produce is a thing. I can get just about any fruit/vegetable I want cheaply, in any season in the US. Not in Japan. Out of season means out of luck.
Healthcare sucks in Japan. Its not free, and it's not first tier.
Owning a car is pretty much out of the question. Buh-Bye G503, G506 and G508! Hello bicycle!
Owning a gun is pretty much out of the question (I have a decent collection worth some $$$).
Pet ownership is mostly cats. I hate cats.
As a foreigner I could buy a home, but as a foreigner I couldn't readily get a loan.. cash or GTFO. Even renting a house would be a MAJOR PITA as a foreigner and cost a shit ton of money (key money aka bribe is alive and well in area's with tight housing).
Clothes would always be a constant struggle. Even shoes would be a PITA (I wear 10 EEEE.. that's even hard to find in the USA). I could lose weight, but at 6ft 1 I'd still not find a lot off the rack.

That's a a very large list of negatives about living in Japan. Sure the culture is cool, and the Japanese women are beautiful... but you can't go out and enjoy the culture or date/fuck/marry a hot Japanese women if you have no money because your shit job pays nothing and your live in a shitty area because you can't afford much rent.

I do plan to visit Japan... but unless I make some mad Powerball money I am not living there.